Life is always getting me down. That’s what life does, it gets you down. Usually to lift back up, we try some grand scheme to bring back our spirits. But if they fail, then we end up worse. For me, I find joy in the simple things in life. The things we take for granted and the things that go… (ctd.)
Ever do one of those things where someone will begin to tell a story about a person, then interrupt and ask if you know said person before continuing their tale, and then you nod your head and say “Yeah, yeah!” when you don’t know anything, just so they can continue their story? Come on, you know… (ctd.)
I don’t understand human beings. They’re such a destructive little race of arrogant, prideful meat sacks. I also don’t understand why my people are so interested in the little guys. I mean, and no offense, but humans are stupid. You guys spend your time preaching values like humility and patience while walking in silk dresses and sporting the new iPhones and going absolutely batshit ballistic when the clerk can’t hurry up with your order of iced coffee with cream on top. Is it programmed into your minds to be hypocritical or something? And I thought the meaning of your so called “secrets” is for them to be heard by no one else. Yet, when I infiltrated this facility known as “high-school”, women were shouting their secrets across the room and the men were boasting about theirs. It must be a human thing.
What also amazes me is your species ability to reproduce. There have been at least 5 destructive viruses to come around to try and wipe the floor with you humans, but you manage to bounce back, and in greater numbers to boot! While infiltrating “high-school” I have determined that this amazing ability stems from the human value known as “Pride”. I analyzed a table that was full of women and one guy, and was able to deduce (with the help of the aforementioned “secrets”) that the one guy managed to sleep with every female of the table. This trait I find commonly among species of apes and wolves and well, the general animal kingdom in total. It’s surprising, however, because the humans who pride themselves for being far above the “animals” are quite animalistic in their nature, probably even mores-so than normal animals.
Truthfully, the longer I stay on this planet, the more and more contradictions I find and the more I begin to doubt my own sanity. Perhaps I am merely one of those disgruntled teenagers with too much free time on her hands and am using this time to rant her frustrations? No, no, that is impossible. For me to be human, I’d have to be contradictory in my own nature, and that is not possible. I am a purely happy otherworldly life form abiding my time until I can take over this twisted little planet and rule with an iron fist for all the suffering and torment given to me by selected humans. Of course, this is for their own betterment. Who else knows humans more than a non-human humanoid with no hidden ulterior motives what so ever? Of course. Until next time little human booklet known as “Diary”.
P.S. I quite admire horses, or Houyhnhnms, as my predecessor Swift calls them. I’d love to converse with them on the politics of Yahoos, for my understanding is limited, as can be seen.
pnutbtrjeli:
I hate growing up. I’m only 16, yet the daunting prospect of having to survive on my own absolutely sends me into an uncontrollable rage. Why? I’m still trying to figure that out myself. It seems like everyone in the world, well, every teenager in the world has their life laid out in beautiful, gold studded detail, and all that is missing is the age requirement to act it out. Everyone, except me of course. Call it pessimism, call it narcissism, call it whatever, but it feels like only I can’t figure my shit out. And the funny thing? I know I’m not alone. Far from it actually. All those preppy preps and jocky jocks and gothy Goths and non-cliquer cliques all have their fear of the future. It makes sense really.
For the past 16, 17, 18 years, the only life they have ever known is that of being raised by someone. From birth to their awkward fazes, some adult like figure is there; guiding the way and laying out plans to help for the future. All their life, the ONLY life they know, is that of being cared for. Suddenly, that’s not so. One day, they’ll leave the house. When they come back, there are no annoying brothers or sisters or doting parents or loyal pets to greet them at thedoor. When they open that door, it’s just them and an empty house. Even for people who have their plans laid out, even for people who are sick of home and just want to be free, deep down, there is some hidden fear of being alone. It’s a fear that can’t be helped. Does anyone truly wish to forfeit the life they’ve only known for some unforeseen and rather unforgiving future?
Sure, some of the people reading this (if any) are calling me out by saying they are perfectly fine ditching childhood for the adult life, and really, you probably are. But for the people like me, the ones who smile and nod while others talk about their future, the ones who do their work and brightly aspire to be something, the ones who secretly breakdown inside because they actually believe that they won’t make it, for those people, I just want to say, it’s totally cool. A hell of a lot more people are like that than we realize, but because of the pressure of “maturing”, we keep those fears from surfacing in public, or even to our parents. We allow or minds to dwell ominously in dangerous depths until we lose sight of what we need to focus on. In the end, we become so trapped by our inner fears and paranoia that we can’t move, or even breathe. I don’t know how many times I’ve awoken in the morning welcoming the day, only to curse the time that passes ever so ruthlessly. And you know what? It’s okay.
Sure, we’re about to enter the adult world soon, and sure, there’s a lot of pressure to succeed. But that doesn’t mean we can’t falter sometimes. We don’t have to be perfect. Our future depends on the effort we put into making it, not the amount of polish our images need to maintain. Everything we do as children won’t mean squat once we enter adulthood, but the effort we used during that time will prepare us for it. So it’s fine to get angry, it’s fine to be insecure on the inside. It doesn’t mean that we’re failing at being mature; rather, it means we admit that out childishness will soon be fading. So while I absolutely hate growing up, and while I absolutely despise a future I can’t see, I’m also kind of looking forward to it. After all, what kind of adult will I make? With my own strength, what will I be able to achieve? It’s an absolutely terrifying prospect, but we’re teenagers. Treating terrifying things with stupidly rash determination is our thing. I just hope I keep my sarcastic view on life. That’s a must.
Fear. One of the most powerful and influential emotions to plague sentient life. It infiltrates the mind- influencing, growing, consuming- until nothing is left but a shattered husk of frailty. Some say they have experienced this tormenting sensation. They cry their tears, telling heartfelt…
Guess who’s back?
So, after a long hiatus (or never at all for those people who don’t care) I’m coming back to tumblr. :D I’ve been bored recently and have been writing stories for myself. (‘cause that’s what cool people do). Anyways, I’ve been thinking of putting them up here (for whoever’s entertainment) and letting people read them. Yay? Nay? I don’t know, I’ve only got 20 followers, so it’s really up to you guys. xD I might do it regardless honestly, so, just a little heads up. :3
